As a society, we have all these conventions we have to follow which allow us to function without killing each other. Most laws make sense, like stealing a car will send you straight to jail. The effect of law and punishment makes society work efficiently to an extent, even if the system is flawed.
But then there are social laws that are unwritten, unspoken and unuttered, yet if a person steps over the line of a particular social convention, then they are ridiculed and ‘punished’ for almost nothing. For instance, if a person is being mocked by others, but they suddenly have had enough and snap, then the victim is punished instead of the perpetrators.
Also, people can never just be honest with each other. All the time people do stupid things or brilliant things or things that make my blood boil. I sit there wishing I could say something, but I can’t because social convention dictates that I cannot without fear of being rejected or ridiculed.
I’m not saying I want to intentionally hurt people’s feelings, because that’s the last thing I want to do. But if people took less offence to things, or weren’t so focused on themselves, they would see that their actions are hurting/annoying others and would rectify it. They could just apologise, correct their behaviour, and move on. But humans are difficult, because everything is taken to heart. Humans are like elephants, as we never forget hurtful comments or cold shoulders or broken hearts.
However, the honesty thing could be used as a powerful, positive device. People often feel alone and as if no one cares about them. Do you have any friends like that? I think we all do, and we all feel this way sometimes.
When a friend gives a compliment, I often scoff or say ‘thanks’ in a quiet, non-believing tone. However, when I give my friend a compliment, I mean it from the bottom of my heart. But I can see their reaction and its like they don’t believe me. They probably don’t, but I wish they did. Its kind of hypocritical of me, because I should believe my friends as I trust them and believe in their judgement, yet the small part of my brain that brings me down tells me ‘They’re wrong’.
But I will still compliment and encourage and be kind to my friends, even if they don’t believe me. One day hopefully they will see I’m telling the truth.
People lie all the time, and its a good defence mechanism. The less people know the safer you are, because you are in control. I often lie to stop people judging me or to give myself more freedom, but one day I may need to tell the truth. And lies hurt, because they start to become a reality. People say that the truth sets you free, and maybe it does, but sometimes its safer to lie because that way no one can hurt you. For instance, lying about a crush so that you won’t get rejected. The lie is preferable to the truth because the truth is real, and can hurt you mentally and physically.
But personally I prefer the truth. At least you know where you stand with people, even though saying this makes me the biggest hypocrite.