*Reading Captain Corelli’s Mandolin in class*
Me: This next bit is so sad!
Friend: Have you read past this point?
Me: …No.
Friend: Then how do you know what happens?
Me: I read a summary of the plot.
Friend: You’ve only read Carlo’s (my favourite character who is gay) parts haven’t you?
Me: …
Friend: I knew it.
Me: In my defence… He’s my favourite.
Friend *Judging*
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